Thursday, August 8, 2013

another reinvention

Yes, it seems there needs to be another reinvention for the girl.  An unscheduled one.  Having just returned from another surgery I now have been "re-plumbed"!  It takes a minute to get used to this new way of life, especially learning how to eat again in a certain way.  These things I can manage for I'm happy to be on the mend and even if a bit restless.

Unfortunately I think the doctor and I were both a bit surprised that he found more of the "c" monster in me.  He explained it as hair or web-like fibres of cancer that didn't have much mass so didn't show up on the various scans.  He had to cut away.  

I don't know what is to come and work at not fretting about what I don't know.  I hold down furniture resting while scribbling all manner of nonsense, whatever comes to my head or hand.  There isn't much art making desire as yet but I'm beginning to be restless to the need to be "making" something in the near future.  

In a week I see the doctor and we'll have a "talk"!  What the outcome shall be I can't even fathom a guess.  However, I do know that I shall be taking this side road I've stumbled down on my own terms wearing my own hiking boots, using my own map and compass!

There is such a thing as quality of life over quantity.  It's odd though, I still feel so strongly that I will be alright.  Perhaps you could call it deep denial.  Well if it is, as my mother-in-law used to say, "so be it!"

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