"Time and Tide wait for no man", a quote my gran used to use on occasion. It seemed a fitting title to my newest painting. A painting that I have catharted over this past week, making little changes to it, fussing it perhaps more than I should. I must force myself to leave it alone for a bit.
This is the trap of painting. You can invent whatever kind of world you'd like. The image takes on a life of its own in feeling. A brush stroke, a mark made, can change everything. So, it is hard to know when a painting is finished!
In this instance I wanted to paint a sunset sky in all it's drama only to find that it didn't hold enough interest for me. I always think about what other things can be added. I don't have a preconceived idea of a meaning for the collected images in a composition. Sometimes the images selected serve to solve a composition problem. Only later do I realise that subconsciously I chose things that have some sort of meaning. I suppose it's rather like dissecting a dream.
In that case I like the idea of making a "waking dream" of a picture. I want them to be messier than they currently seem to me. Not so crafted. It speaks to my limitations as a painter. I cannot make what I see in my head in the same way I see it. It comes out as it will only to the strenght and knowledge that I have now to make it.
I cannot surmise that we all want for the same things in life, but in painting I am striving for the illusion of what I want to see or feel, that sense of abandon or freedom. To be unshackled and free to wander and view the wonder of creation that I am intrinsically linked to.