Monday, November 28, 2011

When frustration goes walking

I want to say that our current situation seems unfair compared with the events of recent history, but here we are going to the doctor.  Not for me in my odd remnants of chemo side effects, but for my mister.

During the past several weeks he's been suffering from a pinched nerve in his neck on the right side.  After too many days on pain medicine he got so frustrated today, we took our frustration to the doctor's office.  They soothed our vexation with a quick referral to a back specialist (surgeon).  It didn't take long for the doctor to ascertain that the MRI report and Gordy's face and grimaces during examination told the story of disc problems.

Polite discussion about pain shots in a week's time only served to clue us to the fact that my darling man might be facing yet another surgery on more than one disc! Oiy!  The doctor explained what fusing several discs entailed and that we might be going down that road if the pain shots didn't alleviate the problem.  Knowing my mister's history the odds are leaning more knife than needle!

This news left us feeling as if we'd fallen down, what at first, seemed like a large hole, only to turn into a bottomless well.  For the chain reaction of reason about what surgery means and how long recouperation might be started making our brains hurt with shock.

I'm just barely functioning after a year of cancer, chemo and all that crazed journey only to be aware that I haven't got anything close to gainful employment to take care of us financially while Gordy recuperates 3-6 months from a surgery!

It's a weird kind of twist of fate that we find ourselves.  The only consolation that I can find at present is that all of Gordy's medical fixing is of a mechanical nature while I, unfortunately have to be at the mercy of some tiny microbe or cell in my body that might go hay wire.  He truly is becoming bionic.

If I reason out the rest of this month and how we'll need to go step by step before we get to a surgical solution I'm realizing that we might have to cancel Christmas like we did last year with my cancer diagnosis.  We shall have to live frugally and perhaps the old girl will have to find a job.  I haven't had a "real" job in 20 years!   I wonder if I'm qualified to do something out in the world other than paint?

Whatever we need to do to sort ourselves we hang on to the idea that this like everything else that has made us stumble from time to time, just a bump in the road.  Or to be more accurate, a pain in the neck!!

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