Monday, April 18, 2011

Way finding

I used to do a fair bit of hiking and camping when I was single. There was always a direction and destination to these wonderful outings by myself or with friends. Wayfinding wasn't difficult by following a well marked path, or map or the sun in it's trajectory. Most of the time I didn't use a compass, but I had one all the same because having one was cool. I liked to imagine that I could find my way if I needed to.

It occurs to me now that I really do need a new direction and destination. I've long since lost the compass I used to have and having been idle from a working destination for months now has created a feeling of limbo. Granted my new job is to be busy with chemo but I need more carrot and stick than that. I don't want that job to be the thing that consumes my brain. In fact you don't need a brain to be present for treatment, just patience.

Today I was given guidance and direction, a compass, if you will, on my life. And although I haven't a clue as to what I shall make or do within the next year, I was given such positive reenforcement that my way finding shall be more a matter of acting on my own desires and not out of my doubts and fears.

I'll firmly affix the stick and the carrot bending out over my nose in front of me and take this new guidance as my invisible compass and blaze a new unapologetic trail to . . .

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