Since my splendid day I've not been as buoyant as I would like. It's the damndable thing of chemo treatments that it makes you weak, sometimes days after treatments. A lot of it has to do with hydration issues. I look forward to this week's chemo where I'll be re-inflated! And owing to the fact the this week and next week's chemo will be shorter in length I'm hopeful to get back to the drawing board, literally!
During these last few days of weighing down the couch I'm realizing that there is an issue that's come with cancer that I hadn't quite realised that has nothing to do with charts and IV's. It's more behavioural in nature. Where people put the illness before your identity. There's an assumption about how you feel or what you're going through or what you need without being consulted or considered. I do know that everyone means well but I must assure everyone that I am still myself. I may not ultimately be the same Kate that I was before cancer, but I strongly think that I will be a more marvelous Kate after chemo. In fact I like to say that I don't have cancer, I have chemo. It's chemo that is having it's way with me. Oh, by the way, my CA-125 is currently 20!
So while I'm weak and haven't even though of artwork or sketching, I know it all waits for me not far away. Look at me and I'll be happy to reassure you of my intent and resolve!