Always at this time of year "spring fever" hits before the tempreture rises. I'm restless to want to ride my new bicycle and take a walk outside in mild weather. But not yet! It has to rain and storm and change in so many ways before we can go outside and play.
My cancer season has already affected me, but I think in the long run it will be just a chapter in a book and not the whole story of my life. How I would hate to be always related to as, "Kate with Cancer", as if I had a new name. While I'm in this cancer season called "chemotherapy" I stubbornly stick to my own idea of how I am.
The outward sign of losing one's hair is a marker to others but its a change that will pass. It doesn't bother me as much as it is a beacon to others announcing my "condition". Oddly enough, cancer is so pervasive in our culture that there really is no need to explain.
So while I work in the studio and move buckets and pails around to try and come up with some new paintings I feel good to be in my body, even weak, even thinner. For I know beyond all doubt that once this season of chemotherapy ends I will have the sweet summer season to get stronger with the sun on my body and let my hair grow until I'm Rapunzel! Ha Ha!